May 1999
5/3/99 This week marks the end of the beginning, to borrow a phrase, which is to say that this week at school we are giving the final exams for the 1998/1999 school year. That may not seem like a remarkable, or even noteworthy statement from an unassociated perspective, but for me it's another part of the answer to the big questions: Why is Benin so poor, so underdeveloped, so far behind even neighboring African nations? Why? To explain what I mean, let me start by reminding the reader that although the school year started two weeks late due to a problem between the government and the teachers, nothing has been done to extend the school year to compensate. That may seem trivial and I'd probably agree if that was the only thing to mention. However, it's not. According to the official scheduled, the school year was supposed to be from September 14th till June 11th for a total of 33 weeks or approximately eight months. Now, subtract the first two weeks taken be grievance and consider that since we're giving final exams this week and won't be testing anything taught from now on, there's not a whole lot to motivate students to come to school, making the last five weeks of the year virtually non-existent, especially since most teachers will use the class time only to calculate the students' grades. Next, subtract four more weeks for the four weeks of exams during which obviously nothing was taught. Then subtract a total of 19 school days for the three official school vacations, not to mention that at least in Ouake we only have half days on Wednesdays. Doing the math, I find the total number of weeks when students are asked to come to class, sit down and learn, to come to only 22, or about five and a half months. Five and a half months isn't a whole lot of education in a year, but even more confounding than that is the actually layout of those 22 weeks in terms of the four major exams and three vacations. To start the school year we had nine consecutive weeks of class and then the first series of exams that began on December 7th. Following the week of exams we had one and a half weeks of school before the Christmas break that began on December 23rd and continued until January 4th. After the break we had two weeks of class before the first exam and three and a half before the second, with the first semester totaling 12 1/2 weeks of learning and two weeks of exams. The second semester that began on January 25th continued uninterrupted for a string of four weeks until the 20th of February when we had a weeklong vacation. It was for Détente which means "relaxation" in French. I asked another teacher about the point of the break and was told that it was designed to reduce stress for the students. After Détente, we had three more weeks of class before the first series of exams that began on March 22nd. Following those exams we resumed classes for one and a half days and then went on Easter break, with only 17 days of school separating the two breaks. We continued after Easter on April 12th, which was three weeks ago, and here we are at the second series of exams for the second semester. So the second semester has been 10 1/2 weeks long with seven weeks before the first set of exams and three weeks before the second set. All of that may be very confusing without a calendar on hand, but suffice it to say that five and a half months isn't a lot of time to teach English, French, physics, history, geography, biology and physical education in even the best conditions.
5/4/99 At times it can be a tease to think, just to think about what I could think about. Where I could be, and in such a state. What I used to do on just such a night. But it occurs, it always does that farther down the line, yet still there is something else, to be gained even when the struggle is strained.
5/14/99 Goat number four was just delivered in my yard.
5/18/99 An odd thing happened last night and incredibly it's not the first time. The first time was about two weeks ago and then it didn't seem odd but actually kind of scary. The first time I was sitting in my main room writing, reading or thinking (there are no other options, really) when I began to notice the tap of insects against the map on the wall. This is normal since the map hangs below the one light that naturally attracts all the bugs. I glanced over and saw that a few large-winged insects had gotten in and were making the extra noise. It didn't strike me as significant because in Ouake bugs come in all sizes and big isn't a problem. I continued whatever I was working on, forgetting the random noise and large bugs. Five minutes later when I noticed that the tap had grown into a roar, I looked to my right to see the corner under the light to be crawling with more than a thousand winged termites. I was completely panicked, not even knowing what kind of bugs they were, if they were dangerous, or even if I was going to be swarmed. I took a broom and began to beat the pile but only to see it continue to grow as many more streamed in. I looked around for their point of origin and found the loosely screened windows to be covered in them. I ran around in the dark screaming, swatting at the flying bugs, and trying to knock as many as I could off of each window before I closed it from the outside. Once the windows were secure, I came back inside to face the pile that covered several feet of floor space and could easily have been a few thousand. Well, one thing I'll say for concrete houses is that you can set them on fire without doing any damage. I doused the pile of bugs in kerosene and set them on fire right in my living room and used the broom to push in strays and tend the pile. After the fire was out and it looked pretty safe, I was thoroughly disgusted by the whole experience and had to go get a beer. On the way to the bar I found little pools of children gathering around the light poles in the streets collecting the bugs! They were catching them in their hands and putting them into basins of water, soaking their wings and drowning the bugs. I continued to the bar and found them covering the ground under the outside lights, like blind soldiers or zombies. I asked the waitress what the cause was and she said it was because it had rained during the day. It had rained that day for the first time since the rains have started. Usually it rains at night. She went on to explain that people eat them and how good they are, as if I would doubt it. She said they take off the wings and cook the bodies over fire. I laughed and told her I'd just prepared a feast at my house. She didn't get it. Well, so I figured it was an unusual experience and I'd have to remember to shut my windows if it rains during the day. It rained during the day yesterday and when I went up the block at 7:30 last night I didn't even think about it. I was working with Rahiem, a local entreprenuer who recently bought a computer but doesn't know how to use it, when the bugs started coming into his office. He and his assistant started swatting at the bugs and I knew I was doomed as well. I grabbed one of the flashlights and ran down the block to find, as I'd known I would, bugs crawling up and in all five windows. This time I did the work in silence and just calmly closed each window, opened the door and looked at the pile. So the second time this month I got a pile of roasted termites going to waste on my living room floor, and I'm definitely going to have to remember to close my windows if it rains.
No date. The final days of year one are on the table in every way and at times I marvel at how fast it has gone and how slow it seemed. The final days at school are tough or have been so far because there is no point for either the students or me. They want to relax and so do I. Their idea of relaxing is talking in class. My idea of relaxing is to just be able to teach a lesson without having to beg them to learn. I guess it has been a long year after all, at least in the life of the teacher. Next year will certainly be a different ball game in many ways. Hopefully I'll be able to avoid the early frustrations in school I had this year and will gain a little ground on the race to the mental finish. I suppose in other matters I won't have to make much adjustment from the way that I've come to live my life on the daily. I've tried to stay simple for the most part and, as such, it's easy to be content. I will say that at times it can be a little dull to eat the same few things every day but dull doesn't have to be boring. We'll see.
5/22/99 Well, all the papers are graded and all the averages are calculated so the results for Mr. O'Keefe's English classes are in for school year number one. It seems like I started the school year with pretty close to 300 students, of which 291 finished both semesters. The reduction in numbers is accounted for as just part of the way things work, and every year students are forced to abandon their studies for a variety of reasons such as illness, money or lack of interest. I'd planned and even announced throughout the year that as the general level of comprehension rose in each class that I was going to raise the expectations. Well, I did raise my expectations as the year progressed because at the beginning of the year I spoke a lot of French in class and by the end almost none. I can also say that in the second semester I intentionally gave harder quizzes and in some classes by surprise. I can say I consciously raised the expectations and the difference in the grades from the first semester to the second semester seems to say without the best of results. While 59 percent of all of my students passed English for the first semester, only 48 percent passed for the second semester. I imagine the difference may have to do with more than just raised expectations, however, because the best students in every class have nearly the same averages for both semesters, as well as the worst. The second semester had a great deal more interruptions than the first, and students frequently lost their momentum. Also, by doing well in the first semester, I think many students simply assumed they'd do well enough in the second. "Well enough" is a point specific to the system of averaging employed by Benin. The school year is divided into two semesters and students may take an average of five to seven subjects twice a week. The point total of all classes is compared to the required number of points required to pass each grade. The main problem with the points system is that students can and regularly do pass a grade without successfully completing the work in one or even several disciplines. Then they are asked to continue the following year in the same core subjects but at an even higher level. Once they reach the third stage of the national system, they are tracked into various concentrations depending on their strengths and weaknesses. It's based on a system that was employed in France that I think has been, at the very least, modified since its inception. Of the 291 students to complete the school year, 151 passed English for the year with a combined average of 10 or more out of a possible 20 points. That's roughly 51 percent of all students I teach which sort of means I passed too, barely. I, of course, was hoping for a much higher percentage but can't really say I deserve it. I'll admit that the stress of teaching so many non-responsive students in comparison with the total took its toll on my patience. Next year I will have to try to maintain a greater sense of personal calm to avoid being reactionary. Those are the numerical results on paper that can be interpreted in so many ways. I can say I can hear the improvements made by many students, even many that didn't pass. It would be hard, however, to predict what kind of lasting effect any of this is going to have on them. For the moment I'll have to see how many manage to pass on to the next grade. Those results will be tabulated and presented at our end-of-the-year meeting on June 9th.
5/24/99 After so many months of so much, it has almost become hard to wonder what is next. Now the first thought to come to mind when faced with the unknown in Benin is: Don't worry, you can't imagine. It seems odd to say but after so much adventure the notion of it being an adventure sort of wears off. Now it's not really an adventure anymore, just my life. Ironically, my current idea of an adventure involves standing around a pool table with a pitcher of cheap draft beer and a couple of guys I graduated from high school with. I surmised a long time ago, it seems, that after the first year of service it would be easy to finish and now I'll find out. At least from here on in I've got my shock absorbers well tuned for what I'll say has been a bumpy road so far.
5/26/99 Well, once again tomorrow I leave the unknown in search of the even less known as I will embark on a 12-day trip that will take me very deep into northern Benin and then all the way to the Atlantic waiting on the edge of Africa. During this trip I plan on seeing my host family in Ouidah for the first time since completing the training. I will greet the new group of teachers arriving from the States, and I will be passing my one-year anniversary in Benin. I'll also be saying good-bye to a few of the people I think of as friends as they finish their service and continue their lives. I can't imagine there won't be any adventures within the adventure and it ought to put a nice cap on the end of my first year as a teacher.